Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Am Not Content. Just being real...


Can I be honest?
Right now, I'm not content.
There's too much swirling around inside my head.  Too many emotions. Too many questions.
Too many hospitals.

Sadness, loss, grief.

The world doesn't stop when you lose someone.
It should.  YOUR world stops.  Suddenly you are aware of your own pain...and that of loved ones around you.

Good days.  Bad days.  Good hours.  Bad hours.

Wow, this was really not supposed to be about grief.  I wanted to post about contentment.
But, grief bleeds into everyday life.  Including blogging.

I'll start over...

I didn't pick a word for 2013.
But if I did, it might have been contentment.
It's been a really tough January. 

And right now our living room chalkboard features the Fruit of the Spirit.   
I needed to see them.  Listed out.  Remember them.  Breathe them in.

I think if I can just remember that I have all I need...
and be content...
that joy will follow.

And, kindness, gentleness.  
The whole fruit salad so to speak.

It's a theory, anyway.  ;)

This post (well, the second half at least) was inspired by a post by Jeanne Oliver. 

Do you have a living room chalkboard?
Or, perhaps one in your mind?
What do you need to write on it today?
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